Speaking of judgey people who likes to brag about how they love to read, Ive sort of stopped talking to this person by now but it’s been irking me since forever and I can’t really not be annoyed by it so imma get it off my chest.
some guy I’m friends with was sort of hitting on me in subtle way, and I was simultaneously uncomfortable and trying to be their friend, when he said something along the lines that he “prefer to talk to the shy girls who aren’t the prettiest, instead of the confident girls who has nothing about her to explore, because there’s so much more to dig out (about the quiet, less attractive girl)” and that he “likes intelligent girls who read” and “girls with short hair because they are more confident and edgy.”
And I just
I’m pro talking to quiet people because yeah, they’re worth talking to as much as anyone and they like friends too even though they feel more awkward at times. (I’m one, I know that feeling) but i don’t want someone to talk to me to “dig up” some sort of “juicy personality detail” they feel they’re entitled to unlocking. Like, I’m not some sort of human gold mine? And neither is any other introverted person?
And a confident person or an attractive person who acts confident (like say as a waitress) isn’t always as confident as you think? It’s literally her job to put herself out to people. And I really don’t appreciate that you just assume that she’s shallow based on you perceiving confidence due to her attractiveness? I feel that that speaks volumes about your own lack of confidence in regards to how you feel about your own level of attractiveness next to hers. Also, I wouldn’t appreciate anyone hitting on me because they actively fantasize about being someone who “brings out a trait I couldn’t bring out by myself.” That screams of a savior complex to me.
And ok, girls who read are cool. But like, what about girls who do other things? Maybe you have a type. I dunno.
And I don’t want to hear how the way and length a girl wears her hair somehow determines her level of confidence or personality. Maybe her hair fits her face better. Who knows. Maybe it’s her religious upbringing. And who gives a shit what you think about how she chooses to look. That’s her personal choice.
Maybe I should consider that he’s trying to compliment me in multiple way and I’m too much of a bitch, so I’m focused instead on how he’s putting down and sort of casting judgment on faceless “other girls” to try to “highlight” ways in which I am supposedly good or attractive. Hearing someone hit on me by judging or suggestively trashing others makes me feel very uncomfortable and weird. And it’s so subtle that I seriously consider if I’m overreacting. Like, am I just being “overly feminist” and lashing out at simple opinions and compliments because he’s a guy.
Is it rather, a problem that lies within my own discomfort with myself?
As in, I know I’m seriously awkward about people hitting on me because I feel like I don’t deserve being hit on as desperately as I also want to have male friends who don’t hit on me and instead treat me as an equal without sex in the equation.
But I know that also has to do with the fact that is how I see OTHER people (as asexual entities with their interests as the base for my interaction with them) and it confuses and terrifies me when people see me a sexually viable “other” rather than “my interests.” And maybe I’m just so terrified of the fact that other people look at me in ways that I do not look at them, and I feel out of touch with their reality, like their way of thinking just doesn’t click in my head, that I’m extra reactive to innocent opinions they have and see the things they say through a skewed scope of feminist outrage.
Trying so hard to figure out if what he said is seriously annoying or if I’m also just kinda messed up and terrified of everything.
Thank you, I will use this freely anytime a guy comments on how I should do my makeup and start writing reports in sassy science-voice of their responses.
if a guy ever tells you “you’d look better if you wore less makeup”, tell him he’d look better if he wore more, because 1) he’s likely to get indignant and defensive about his ‘threatened masculinity’, and 2) he almost definitely would look better
THIS. Reading is cool. It’s great, I love it. And I love a good book that sucks me into its world.
dont fucking shame people for not reading for pleasure
some people have concentration-issues
some people have other hobbies
and some people just dont fucking like reading alright
shut the fuck up and sit down
But I also love comics. And I love art. And it’s what I want my life to be about. It IS my life. And sometimes, people ask what I’m reading and I tell them about graphic novels I’m super invested in and they’re like “that’s cheating.” And I’m like “ok, so entirely text based books are the only ‘legit’ books?”
People don’t seem to take graphic novel and comics very seriously and look at them like less credible representation of language? I know there are differences in format. There are some things in writing where the visuals in comics are used as a “crutch” that eliminates the need for imagining a scenario when you have an artist that depicts it for you.
And I’ll say this again, but I love comics. I love its harmony, contrast, and balance with text. I love the way comics makes our brains see motions between still images, make story connections between differently depicted scenarios. I love that comics makes us create narratives for lines and ink blots on a paper like we do when we read books with characters in it.
It doesn’t mean I don’t read “real” books though. Or read for fun. I do. But I also put time into other things I love and care about that aren’t any less valid. Amazing video games, amazing comics, amazing soup recipes, amazing dance routines. All are equally valid and cultured and relevant.
Also, literacy is a booming thing these times especially amongst the newer generation of people, because that is the basis of how we interact with the world around us, survive, make friends, and look for jobs. I’m so pro reading for fun but people can stop it with the judginess.
This book gives me more information about penguins than I care to have.
In 1944 a children’s book club sent a volume about penguins to a 10-year-old girl, enclosing a card seeking her opinion.
She wrote, “This book gives me more information about penguins than I care to have.”
American diplomat Hugh Gibson called it the finest piece of literary criticism he had ever read.